May 2013
gorilllas:
when you wanna do something fun but none of your friends are down
tomlintum:
whenever my mom criticizes me i yell “it’s probably genetic” and run out of the room as fast as i can
ofuckme:
theres nothing funnier than a girl wearing heels to a concert
homleschapel:
summer is real cute until every fuckin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell
kurtsass:
it’s 2012 why don’t legs shave themselves
alright 2013 now let get a move on
caratsforeveryonetosee:
So I asked my sister how prom was and her reply was “they had mozzarella sticks”
george0malley:
embarrassing parts of books are a million times worse than embarrassing parts of movies i’ve decided because you can’t look away or cover your face until it’s over you have no choice but to pay attention and endure that secondhand embarrassment with them
notyoudonut:
my cat sleeps in this box and i was seeing how far i could push it to the edge before he jumped out and
fuckinq:
I went jogging this morning and i noticed a guy was following me and i was so scared lmfao my heart was pounding and then he finally caught up to me and said “hey you dropped 50 bucks” and i took it and started running and while i’m running i’m laughing because the 50 dollars didn’t belong to me
allmymetaphors:
isn’t it weird as hell that you can think someone is the coolest person on earth and at the exact same time they can hate themselves
I have thought about this so many times
jkellemn0p:
I actually really love it when someone remembers small details and quirks about me or addresses me by my name at unexpected times like at the end of a sentence and I don’t know why but I just really, really do.
can you imagine if someone sent you a list of all the reason why they love you. asdfghjkl
damn
donnermaysilee:
I’m so unphotogenic what am I going to do when I’m famous
rabioheab:
i do not like green eggs and ham i do not like them will.i.am
sorryforpartybarackin:
the best kind of people are the really cute ones that you wanna cuddle and drink hot chocolate and go for walks in the park and watch dumb movies and build blanket forts with but also slam up against a wall and fuck their brains out
those really are the best people
kingcroacus:
fingers are weird??? like…… our arms just split into other smaller arms…………. ok
“But none of them realized as Dalí did that dreams are actually not indistinct...”
– John Cooper Clarke, on Salvador Dalí (via nevver)
